We can’t be strong all the time. We used to live in tribes remember! Those tribes and other people were there to support, help and guide us.
The modern world is about being strong, being able to do all things and not showing a “weakness”. There’s a lot of British phrases that pre-programme us to ensure that we don’t share that we need help.
“Stiff upper lip”
“Keep your chin up”
This create a deep learning and mindset that asking for help is a sign of weakness. This learned belief is created at a young age. It might be that we’ve been told to “speak when we’re spoken to” or “be a good boy” so we learn not to ask for what we need and not to cause any bother.
The key is to be able to change our minds about asking for help.
There are so many people who have come to me asking for help.
Listen in to hear about 3 examples and what I did to help.
The Chief Exec who was putting a ton of extra time just to feel successful, even though there was lots of external evidence to show he was doing well. He said to me “it’s a sign of weakness isn’t it” We worked on his belief and mindset so that he could delegate with ease, manage the expectations of himself and his team and still be able to spend time with his family and enjoy it.
The top city Lawyer who was embarrassed because she was getting emotional at work and felt like it looked like she couldn’t cope. She was worried what people would think. I helped her with ways to deal with the overload, educated her on being able to identify when her stress levels were high so she could use tools that work for her and get that balance in her life, without compromising her professional approach.
The business owner who thought being stressed all the time was normal and that if he was in control of everything it would help. Truth was that when we reduced his stressed levels, identified the areas that really caused him the stress he felt so much better and even made some changes in his business direction to support this new way of looking at things.
Even me. Listen in when I explain what I’ve to ask for help.
All of us need help at some point or other. Knowing when to ask for help is the first step. Reaching out the right kind of people who will be there for you and who get it is important too.
Think about someone who has asked you for help. What did you think of them? I’m guessing your first response wasn’t “oh they’re weak” or “ooh they can’t cope”.
That’s probably one of the main reasons we don’t ask for help. We worry about judgement. We’re frightened about what people will think.
Fear is a big thing that stops us moving forward. Stops us being able to perform at our best.
When we get past that, or reach out for help, then we are taking that first step to the next level.
If you’re ready to ask for help then we can book a call and discuss your situation.