If you struggle with confidence or don’t always feels confident then this blog and podcast episode will be helpful for you.
What is Confidence?
Confidence is a belief in ourselves and a trust in ourselves. It’s also a belief and trust in others.
When we have that confidence in ourselves we have a trust and belief that we can do things, that things will be OK, that we will be received OK, that what we do is acceptable. So it’s not just what we do, but how it will be received.
I talked in the last blog (Fear of Rejection) about our in built programming about being accepted and and that is also relevant in our confidence about how we are received and accepted by the people around us.
Sometimes we put things off that we’re not comfortable doing. Sometimes we tell our selves we’re waiting until a time is right –that’s procrastinating. However if we’ve got deadline, sometimes we need to just do this.
Example of Jade calling for her work experience – put some structure around, make a plan, research who / what / where. I was there to support her. We set goals of how many people to call, what we wanted out of it.
Recognise that not everything can be scripted because we can’t predict what someone else
When we practice having a positive attitude and positive interactions we can learn ways to deal with negative thoughts and feelings that come up for us. When we set goals or challenges and trust ourselves to be able to step up and have a go, we can improve our self-confidence.
Listen into the podcast where there’s a great story about how I supported my daughter with her confidence building and recognition that not everything can be scripted in life. We need to get comfortable having a go.
Here’s my top tips on building your confidence:
Understand where your doubts and concerns are coming from. Recognise that within you there’ll be worries and concerns about will I be accepted and can I trust this will be OK. When we bring our doubts, worries, concerns to the conscious part of our mind then we can really begin to work on them. If we leave them in the subconscious then they work automatically and that’s when they hold us back.
Whether it’s going to a new class, new job, going out socialising. Putting it off, isn’t going to make it easier. Take the first step. That saying about getting out of the door is half the battle – sometimes it’s the entire battle – when you’ve done that, things already seem easier!
Practice really helps you to get used to doing things to increase your confidence. The only caveat around this is if you’ve had some really terrible experience! If so, you might need more help, but otherwise it really is about getting started and practicing. The only time this won’t always help is if you’ve had a really difficult or terrible experience. If it’s been really terrible / trauma then you might need some support to desensitise the negative event, but for trying new things it’s really about practice.
Make sure you’re not putting yourself down. Using phrases like “I’m no good at this” or “this will be awful”. Because of our wiring that keeps us alert to danger we will listen to that and have it stop us moving forward. Keep things positive with phrases like “This is OK and I can do this”.
The previous podcast on Self Talk is HERE
Surround yourself with people who support you. It might be talking to a business friend, colleague, or other support person or group. Just make sure its people who lift you up! Maybe you need a coach that helps you with this? If so, let me know!
Overall, there are no negatives or worriers or doubting Doris needed! Do watch out for people who start telling you that you ‘should’. That’s not always helpful. So find people who really listen to you worries and concerns and are support and constructively helpful.
Set goals about what you want to achieve, when you want to do them, be clear on your reasons, what you will get out of it. Often looking at the end result can be an enthusiastic driver to help you move forward.
Look back on what went well, what didn’t. Make sure you reflect on how you felt, not just on how someone else responded. How did you feel at the beginning and how different was that at the end? That way you can find more positive self talk, more positive recognition. The good feelings and memories help to drive us forward so that things seem easier and better.
Put in it things like complementary emails, recognition, feedback, certificates. Any achievements from work, business, hobbies, talents can go into this. When things are tough, you go through this book and really see everything that you HAVE achieved and that helps us to feel more confidence.
Even when we are confident, we can never know what’s round the corner. What we might have to step up to or where our confidence can get knocked. The key to maintaining great self-confidence is to have all these ways that we can use to bounce back really quickly. Then we keep on building the self-confidence in ourselves.
I could go on with lots more ways to build self-confidence. So if you need some help, book a call with me or grab the self-doubt to self-belief guide and get started with that first. Switch up your belief in yourself, then you can get out there and take steps in building the confidence too.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog please pop a note below and tell me how you’ve increased your confidence. If you love the podcast episode of the Business Balance Podcast please go leave a review and hit the subscribe button so that I see you on the next episode.